posted 6th October 2025
5 minute read
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to struggle?
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re someone who is used to pushing through. You’ve built a career on resilience, problem-solving, and getting things done. You’re the person others turn to in a crisis, the one who keeps it together when everything feels like it’s falling apart.
But what happens when you’re the one who needs support?
The Comparison Trap
“At least I still have my job.”
“Others have it so much worse.”
“I should be grateful for what I have.”
“People are dealing with real problems - mine don’t compare.”
These phrases might sound familiar. They’re the internal dialogue of high-achievers who’ve learned to minimise their own struggles by measuring them against someone else’s seemingly bigger challenges. It’s as if there’s an invisible hierarchy of suffering, and yours doesn’t qualify for the top tier.
But here’s what I want you to consider: Your suffering doesn’t need to be comparative to be valid.
When Life Shifts Beneath Your Feet
Life transitions, whether chosen or thrust upon us, create a unique kind of disorientation. You might be navigating a promotion that feels overwhelming, adjusting to an empty nest, managing a chronic health condition, or processing a redundancy. Perhaps you’re juggling the demands of a new baby while maintaining your professional identity or facing retirement after decades of defining yourself through your career.
These experiences don’t need to rank against global tragedies or someone else’s crisis to matter. Your stress about a role change doesn’t become less real because your colleague is going through a divorce. Your anxiety about your child leaving home doesn’t diminish because your neighbour is managing a serious illness.
The Cost of “Getting On With It”
The ability to “just get on with it” has likely served you well in your career. It’s probably helped you navigate corporate restructures, demanding deadlines, and challenging relationships. But this same strength can become a barrier when you’re facing significant life changes.
When we constantly tell ourselves to push through without acknowledgment or support, several things happen:
We become disconnected from our own needs and emotions. The stress compounds, often showing up in unexpected ways such as difficulty sleeping, irritability, feeling stuck, or a persistent sense that we’re going through the motions.
We miss opportunities to process change in healthy ways, which can actually accelerate our ability to move forward with clarity and purpose.
Most importantly, we model for others - our teams, our families, our communities - that struggling isn’t acceptable, perpetuating a cycle where everyone suffers in silence.
What Validation Actually Looks Like
Validating your experience doesn’t mean wallowing or making your challenges bigger than they are. It means acknowledging that transitions are inherently difficult, even when they’re positive ones. It means recognising that your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between “good” stress and “bad” stress, it all requires energy to process.
Validation looks like saying: “This is hard for me right now, and that’s okay.” It’s giving yourself the same compassion you’d offer a colleague or friend facing similar circumstances.
The Space Between Acknowledgment and Action
There’s profound power in the space between acknowledging where you are and deciding where you want to go. This isn’t about staying stuck in difficulty, it’s about creating a foundation from which you can move forward authentically.
When you stop expending energy minimising your experience, that energy becomes available for actually addressing what you’re facing. When you stop comparing your inside to everyone else’s outside, you can focus on what you actually need to navigate your transition successfully.
Why Professional Support Matters
You wouldn’t attempt a complex business transformation without expert guidance. You wouldn’t ignore persistent physical symptoms without seeking medical advice. Yet many capable professionals try to navigate major life transitions entirely on their own.
Coaching provides a space where your experience - whatever it is - is met without judgment or comparison. It’s where “I should be handling this better” transforms into “What do I need to handle this in a way that works for me?”
It’s where the question shifts from “Why am I struggling with something others seem to manage easily?” to “How can I use this transition as an opportunity to create the life and career I really want?”
Your Experience Deserves Attention
Whether you’re managing a career pivot, adjusting to becoming a parent, processing a loss, adapting to health changes, or facing any other significant transition, your experience deserves attention. Not because it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone, but because it is happening to you, and you matter.
Your struggles don’t need to compete for validity. Your challenges don’t need to be ranked against others to deserve support. Your transitions - messy, uncomfortable, and uncertain as they might be - are worthy of the same thoughtful attention you’d give to any important project in your professional life.
Moving Forward
The professionals who thrive through transitions aren’t necessarily those who suffer the least - they’re those who’ve learned to work with their challenges rather than against them. They’re the ones who’ve discovered that acknowledging difficulty doesn’t make you weak; it makes you wise.
If you’re in the midst of a transition and finding yourself caught in the comparison trap, consider this your permission to step out of it. Your experience is valid. Your challenges are real. And seeking support isn’t a sign that you can’t handle things - it’s a sign that you’re ready to handle them well.
Ready to navigate your transition with clarity and support? I work with professionals who are tired of minimising their experiences and ready to move forward with intention.
Contact me for a free 20 minute consultation to explore how coaching can support you through this chapter of your life.