posted 14th July 2025
When did we start believing that our worth was measured by our work output?
I had a coaching conversation recently with a client who described herself entirely through her professional achievements. Marketing Director. Six-figure salary. Leading a team of twelve. Awarded top performer three years running. When I asked her to tell me about herself without mentioning work, she became silent.
“I’m not sure,” she finally said. “I think I’ve forgotten who I am outside of my work role.”
If that resonates with you, you’re not alone. Somewhere along the way, many of us have allowed work to expand beyond its boundaries, consuming not just our days but our sense of identity, self-worth, and definition of success.
The Trap of Professional Identity
The pattern is familiar: do well, get more. Complete a project successfully? Here is another one. Show you can handle complexity? You become the person everyone turns to when things get complicated. Success starts to feel less like achievement and more like signing up for an endless queue of new responsibilities.
It is a strange dynamic - being good at your job often means getting more jobs, not a better job. The capable end up carrying more weight while others maintain manageable workloads. We frame this as “growth opportunities” and “being valued” but sometimes it just feels like being penalised for competence.
The challenge isn’t the work itself — it is finding a way to be excellent without becoming everyone’s default solution to every problem.
But you are not your job title. You are not your latest achievement or your next deadline. You are a complex, multifaceted human being with needs, dreams, and dimensions that extend far beyond your professional contributions.
The Other Domains of Your Life
Consider for a moment the richness of human experience that exists beyond the office walls:
Relationships form the fabric of our emotional lives. The deep conversations with friends, the laughter shared with family, the quiet moments of connection with a partner. These relationships nourish parts of us that no promotion ever could.
Health and wellbeing provide the foundation for everything else. The strength in your body, the clarity in your mind, the energy that carries you through your days - these deserve attention and care, not just the leftover scraps of time after work demands are met.
Learning and growth feed our natural curiosity. Reading a book that has nothing to do with your industry, learning a new skill for the sheer joy of it, exploring ideas that stretch your thinking - these activities expand who you are, not just what you can produce.
Connection with nature reminds us of rhythms beyond the artificial urgency of emails and meetings. The peace gained from a morning walk, the grounding sensation of soil in your hands, the perspective that comes from watching a sunset - nature offers healing that no amount of professional success can provide.
Leisure and play aren’t luxuries; they’re necessities. The hobbies that make you lose track of time, the activities that bring you pure joy without any productivity outcome, the moments when you can simply be rather than do.
Finding Peace in an Overwhelmed World
We’re constantly bombarded with information about crises we cannot control. I’ve learnt to be intentional about my news consumption - reading headlines to stay informed but not allowing myself to be consumed by stories of distant atrocities that leave me feeling helpless and anxious.
This isn’t about being uninformed or uncaring. It’s about recognising that whilst I cannot control global events, I can control how I care for myself and those around me. I can control whether I spend my evening doom-scrolling or taking a peaceful walk in nature. I can choose whether to let external chaos define my internal state.
Reconnecting with Your Values
At the heart of this rebalancing lies a fundamental question: what do you actually value? Not what you think you should value, or what your industry rewards, but what genuinely matters to you as a human being.
Perhaps it’s creativity, connection, adventure, service, learning, peace, authenticity, or beauty. These values - your values - are your compass for a life well-lived. They remind you that success isn’t just about climbing the career ladder; it’s about living in alignment with what makes you feel most alive and authentic.
Creating Space for Rediscovery
Sometimes we need help remembering who we are beyond our professional roles. Coaching provides that space - a place to step back from the daily rush, to examine not just what you’re achieving but how you’re living, to reconnect with parts of yourself that may have been quietly waiting for attention.
It’s remarkable what emerges when we create space for these conversations. The forgotten dreams, the neglected relationships, the simple pleasures that once brought joy. The person you are when nobody’s watching, when there’s no performance to maintain, when you can simply be.
An Invitation to Wholeness
This isn’t about abandoning professional ambition or becoming complacent about your career. It’s about expanding your definition of success to include the fullness of human experience. It’s about remembering that a life well-lived is measured not just in achievements, but in moments of connection, peace, growth, and joy.
Your work is part of your life, but it is not your whole life.
You have permission to prioritise your wellbeing, to nurture your relationships, to spend time in nature, to pursue interests that serve no purpose other than bringing you alive.
You have permission to be more than your job title. In fact, the world needs you to be.
What domains of your life are calling for more attention? What values are waiting to be honoured? Sometimes we need a guide to help us rediscover the path to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Let’s explore what wholeness might look like for you.