posted 2nd November 2025
4 min read
When was the last time you made a decision based on what truly matters to you, not what’s urgent, expected, or easiest in the moment?
If you’re struggling to answer that question, you’re not alone. In the relentless pace of modern professional life, many of us find ourselves operating on autopilot. We respond to the latest email, chase the next deadline, and say yes to things we don’t really want to do. Days blur into weeks, weeks into months, and somewhere along the way, we realise we’ve been making choices that move us further from who we actually want to be.
The Hidden Cost of a Reactive Life
Living reactively comes at a price. When we are constantly responding to external demands without pausing to check in with our internal compass, we end up:
Making decisions that bring quick relief but long-term
regret
Saying yes to please others while our own needs go unmet
Choosing paths that look good on paper but feel hollow
in practice
Waking up one day wondering how we got here and
why it doesn’t feel right
This reactive way of living doesn’t just lead to burnout; it leads to a life that feels disconnected from who we truly are.
What Does It Mean to Live a Valued Life?
Living a valued life isn’t about making perfect decisions or having it all figured out. It’s about creating a life where your daily choices - big and small - align with what genuinely matters to you.
Your values are your personal compass. They are the qualities you want to embody, the principles that give your life meaning, and the direction you want to move toward. They might include things like creativity, connection, growth, integrity, adventure, or contribution. Unlike goals that you achieve and check off, values are ongoing directions you can move toward every single day.
When you’re clear on your values, decisions become simpler. Not easier, necessarily, but clearer. You have a framework for evaluating opportunities, setting boundaries, and choosing how to spend your precious time and energy.
Why We Lose Sight of What Matters
So why don’t we all naturally live according to our values? Because life gets in the way.
The constant noise of should-dos and have-tos drowns out the quieter voice of what we actually want. Add in major life transitions; a career crossroads, burnout, relationship changes, or that nagging feeling that something needs to shift, and it becomes even harder to hear ourselves clearly.
Sometimes we’re not even sure what our values are anymore. Perhaps we’ve been living according to values we absorbed from family, culture, or early career choices. Perhaps our values have evolved but our lives haven’t caught up. Or maybe we know what matters to us but feel paralysed about how to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
The Transformation That Happens When You Reconnect
Here’s what I’ve witnessed time and again with the professionals I coach: when people take the time to identify and reconnect with their core values, something shifts fundamentally.
They stop second-guessing every decision. They find the courage to make changes they’ve been avoiding. They set boundaries that felt impossible before. They choose opportunities that genuinely excite them rather than just looking good on a CV. Most importantly, they create lives that feel authentic, lives where their daily actions reflect what truly matters to them.
This isn’t about overnight transformation or radical life overhauls. It’s about sustainable change that lasts because it is rooted in who you really are, not who you think you should be.
Your Invitation This Month
As we move through November and approach the end of another year, I invite you to pause and ask yourself:
Am I living a life that reflects what truly matters to me?
If your answer is uncertain, or if you know deep down that something needs to change, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Working together, I can help you:
Identify your core values with clarity
Understand where your current life aligns with those
values - and where it doesn’t
Create practical steps to move in a valued direction
Navigate the transitions and crossroads you’re facing with confidence
Because you deserve a life that feels like yours. A life where your choices reflect your values, where your work and relationships align with who you are, and where change feels authentic and sustainable - not like another item on an endless to-do list.
Ready to reconnect with what truly matters? Let’s talk about how coaching can help you create a life that moves in a valued direction.